The Sloshball Official Rules
1. Any adult player reaching 2nd base is encouraged to finish the fine beverage waiting for
them there before they are allowed to proceed to third base.  Failure to complete this step
results in an automatic out.
2. Each team at bat elects one of their own players to pitch to them, thus avoiding
annoying delays when opposing teams attempt to pitch like crap while the fine beverage at
2nd base gets warm.
3. Each player gets three pitches, regardless of their quality.  Each pitch un-hit fairly is
considered a strike.  Three strikes and you're out.  Note: you can modify the rule to four
pitches for women and kids if necessary.
4. Any time a player hits a home run, play is halted and his/her entire team is invited to
join him/her for a toast at 2nd base.  This is known as a "team social".
5. Any time a player directly hits the 2nd base "umpire", this is also considered a home
run and qualifies for a "team social".
6. Outfielders can not stand behind the outfield fence during play.  Any balls caught while
standing behind the fence are automatic home runs.
7. All ties go to the runner.  And all disputes are settled by The Commissioner, regardless
of the teams involved in the dispute.  If the call is extremely close, the Commissioner
reserves the right to call for a "Dispute Chug Off", where the dispute is settled at 2nd base
by the two players involved.
8. If there are too many players, we'll have 3 different teams, and therefore, 3 frames per
inning (instead of the traditional 2).  There are a total of 11 innings.
9. The first 5 innings are played in 1-2-3 team order, while the 2nd 5 innings are played in
3-2-1 order.  The 11th inning matches the top two scoring teams for a 1 inning
championship battle.  The team with the highest score bats first.
10. Any team attempting to cheat by obstructing a base runner or allowing a team to
score will be noted within the annals of Sloshball history and scorned upon for all eternity.
11. All Sloshball games are opened with a singing of the National Anthem.
12. There's no crying in Sloshball (except for Little Timmy).
13. The most important rule in Sloshball--there's no arguing in Sloshball.  Remember, if
you're complaining about a play, you're missing the point and really shouldn't be at
Sloshball in the first place.  In fact, you may be proving to be real, live slosh-hole.  
Remember, it's not baseball, it's not softball...IT'S SLOSHBALL!