HeyRyan.com Month 1
August 2002
And finally, the exciting conclusion of my first month on planet earth...
Well, I'm finally getting a sense for how things
run around here. And from what I can tell, I
seems like the little girl is in charge. As you can
see in this photo, my sister gets waited on like
some sort of royal midget.  Every morning she
gets her pillows propped up for optimal
cartoon-viewing, just in time for her tray of food
to arrive.  And then there's this daily fuss over
her clothes and hair. I, on the other hand, prefer
to just keep quiet, lay on the bed and stare at the
ceiling. I figure that if I keep a low profile, I can
get in good with the powers that be (Zoe).
Dad has been really busy since I showed up but
he found some time for a little photoshoot action.
This one made its way to my announcement.
I pretty much gave Dad this same expression for
about 50 shots.  He moved all over the place but
they all pretty much look exactly the same.
OK, I have to admit, this one is a tad different.  I
think this was the part where that darn flash
accidentally went off.  I was not too amused.
Hey, check out my full body shot.
By the way folks, I'm at a startling
95 percentile on height!  Go figure.
OK, enough with the photoshoot, I need to clean
up.  Here I am in my crib, as Mom is getting me
ready for my first ever bath in the mini-tub.
Wow, these guys seem to make a big deal out of
everything.  "People, it's just a bath--get over
yourselves for god sakes."  How embarrassing.
Once I got used to being naked in front of a
room full of paparazzi, I really had a good time.  
We need to do this more often...say, every other
Underneath me is a cool little net, to make things
easier for Mom.  And to my right is a full-length
mirror, so I can check myself out.  What a bod.
Enjoy the receding hairline, folks.  Because if I'm
anything like Dad, I'll not only have a full head
of hair but also a five o'clock shadow in a month.
"OK, who is the yellow kid?  Is this another sibling
I should know about?  I don't remember hearing
about any motionless bill-faced little brother."
Well, that about wraps up my first full
month of being Ryan Nicholas Jacobin.
I think we've covered just about
everything...oh, except for about 932
dirty diapers and my amazing
propensity for projectile barfing (which
has earned me my first nickname
"Ralphie")...but I'm sure you don't
really want to see those photos.  In the
immortal words of Jed Clampett--my
personal idol during my fetal stage,
"Y'all come back now."