Milo takes a quick break to visit the Lounger Club...
"Wow, another Sloshball in the books.  What are we going to have to do
next year to top this one?"
SLOSHBALL V
"Bring Back The Music"
Another Sloshball is in the books--and what a doozy it was.  We started off with the poignant salute to Original Sloshball
Guitar (God speed, little buddy) and rolled right into the tightest Sloshball game in history (that is until the Dillos started
cheating on their 8th inning score).  The most surprising (horrifying) turn of events occurred shortly after the game when
the victorious Dillos were treated by a visit from their team mascot.  Their jubilant reaction is well-documented below.  
From there we celebrated the glory that is Sean Kahr--our inaugural Hall of Fame inductee--and watched in sheer joy as
he eloquently summarized the meaning of Sloshball during his induction speech.  For the first time ever, we nearly
escaped a Sloshball game without the traditional injury, when brave but cocky Little Timmy decided to field a hard
post-game liner with his teeth (God speed, little buddy).  And then we capped off the evening with a delicious "Taste of
the Major Leagues".  In the immortal words of Mr. Kahr, "It's not baseball.  It's not softball.  
It's Sloshball!"
In a ceremony befitting a Kennedy, Craig &
Milo opened up Sloshball V by bringing the
remains of the Original Sloshball Guitar in
from left field to the haunting sound of
"Amazing Grace" played on the bag pipes.  
Here, Craig is shown placing the
ceremonial urn upon 3rd base shortly before
he and Milo folded the flag and presented it
to the grieving widow, Sean.
Craig stands at attention for the playing of
"Taps" before proceeding with the formal
military burial of the Original Sloshball Guitar.
To be forever intertwined with Sloshball, the Original Sloshball Guitar is laid to rest
upon the field it so frequently called home.  May its spirit make the infield just that
much smoother, the outfield grass just that much greener and the porta-Johnies
smell just a little bit less.  Free at last...thank God almighty, she is free at last.
Ode To The Original Sloshball Guitar
Dan's at the plate--heart filled with hate
for the Sloshball Guitar.

Sean's in the john--dropping the bomb
when Dan cracks a homer.

Dan Whatshisname--he went insane
and smashed the Sloshball Guitar.

Sean was in tears--he dropped his beers
the stench of deeeath upooon him..
But alas, there is hope.  From
behind the fog of uncertainty
comes the New Sloshball
Guitar and the playing of our
most-auspicious national
anthem by Mr. Slimi Hendrix.
Slimi takes a mid-song breather.
Infamous for his barehanded fielding prowess
during Sloshball IV, B-Luv is shown here
displaying those meaty mits.  "Let the funk reign!!"
Disheartened by the empty keg near the player bench, Sean and
Scott desperately attempt to eek out one last refreshing drop.
Newly-married, Chuck and Chanel--aren't they just
delightful?!  In case you're wondering, Chuck has toes that
look like white chocolate-flavored Cheetos and Chanel
spent much of her youth trick-or-treating in Beverly Hills.
Here's G managing to field a liner in short center field, while
miraculously keeping a single drop from spilling.   Way to go, G!!
Soon it was time for the 7th Inning
Stretch.  Here Slimi looks backstage
while Al, Craig, Scott and Georgia prepare
for their stunning barber-shop rendition
of  "Take Me Out To The Ballpark".
Obviously both Ryan & Georgia to the right and Dinky Diggler
below were damn proud to call themselves "Pukers".
B-Luv takes a quick break to
visit the keg in his underwear.
Hall of Famer, Sean Kahr.
Flip serves up Dodger Dogs & Chicago-Style
Franks during the post-game "Taste of the
Major Leagues".  Sloshers enjoyed food and
beer from ballparks in Chicago, Cincinnati,
Denver, St. Louis, Baltimore, LA and Anaheim.
UPDATED SLOSHBALL HOMER TALLY
Three Homers
Mike McNeil, Art Quintero, Craig Jacobin,
Two Homers
Al McGough, Brian Hickey, Sean Kahr,
Andy DeLorenzo, Milo Chavis
One Homer
John Koning, Chuck O'Connor, Don Ho,
John Oskorus, Dave Oskorus,
Gary Oakes, Dan Whatshisname,
Nick-Jon Haiduc, Morgan Whoever,
Mike Whatever
SLOSHBALL V
Game Summary
Anthem: Slimi Hendrix
7th: Slimi, Craig, Al, Scott, Spaz
Champ: Scott Haiduc*
Team: The Dillos
Score: Dillos 11 Pukers 8*
HOF: Sean Kahr
Triple Crown: Spaz Mathison
Double (play): Dean Olson
Best Single: Little Timmy
Grand Slam: T Montoya
Best Homer: Chuck O'Connor
Game MVP: Milo Chavis
* Recorded under protest.
A LETTER FROM THE COMMISSIONER
To all my Sloshball friends,
With another Sloshball behind us, it's time to quickly begin planning
for the future.  Next year's game will mark the dawn of a new
millennium of Sloshball, so we're going to temporarily deviate from our
tradition of roman numerals and deem next year's game "Slosh2k". I
think it's kind of catchy.  In honor of the new millennium, we will
introduce a few new wrinkles--such as the peanut hawker contest and
another attempt to conduct a homer contest.  However, much of what
Slosh2k will be about is returning to our roots.  This year's game was
a little too serious and marked our lightest scoring/beer consumption
ever.  During the winter meetings, I'll be conducting a series of focus
groups to ensure that new rules are enacted to protect the integrity and
spirit of Sloshball.  In short, I think we all need a little less "ball" and a
lot more "Slosh".  So mark your calendars for Saturday July 1,
2000--it's going to be the best Sloshball ever!
- The Commish
For the first time in Sloshball history, each team
was given uniforms featuring the official logo of
Sloshball.  These shirts were a generous donation
from Mr. Dave Oskorus, who could not make the
game this year.  Be sure to thank him the next time
you see him.  
Or click here to send him an email.
He's at:  wizzaro@deusexmedia.com
We bid you farewell with a lovely shot of the stunned reaction to "The Dillo".  One of the greatest moments in Slosh History captured on film.