Colopalooza 1999: Denver
"Big Al No Stinky"
Day 1: "Table Mountain Debacle"
Day 3: "Renegade Fishermen"
Day 4: "Buffs Romp"
Day 2: "Eatin' Barley With Wes"
Day 5: "Wynkooped"
Day 6: "Crocked"
'99 Rookie of the Year,
Flavor D, strolls off the
plane in Nixonian fashion to
begin "Big Al No Stinky".
After a brief search for Miss
Palooza, we ventured to
Golden's prestigious Table
Mountain Inn.  In the
beginning, it was fun that
nobody worked there.
But after the first half hour, the pain began to set in.  
For a brief moment, it looked like Big Al might get
stinky...but instead he got sleepy.  Here he is with the
Puff-Lord in the lobby.
Around the one
hour mark, all hell
broke lose  as
Wreck & Smalls
posed for a few
revealing photos in
the hotel's
abandoned main
dining room.  As
you can see...NOT
PRETTY.
Inside the Language of Colopalooza
"Colopalooza" v., defined as:
A celebration of the basic nature
exhibited by a bunch of idiots when
nobody's looking.
Day two got off to a great start for Flavor
D, Wreck & Smalls with some piping hot
double lattes up the street.
Here we are with our new
favorite barista, as she poses
with the commemorative
Colopalooza hat.
Then it was time for a real a breakfast at the
dining room where we'd performed so well
just hours before. Not pretty!!
Then it was on to the
annual Coors Brewery
Tour.  Here's Puff
wondering if this vat
will fit in the
Paloozamobile.
Coors salutes the defenders of freedom.  And
dammit, so do the Paloozians.
Above: The tour can be a little slow at times.
Below:  But then you get minutes old samples.
Soon we met Wes...and
it was good.  He brought
us fresh-roasted barley
stems to taste, while we
marveled at his
enormous,
Coors-induced gut.  It
was truly a vision of  all
that is right about
Colopalooza.
New Dinky duds.
The Coors Tour confirmed what we already
Knew-puff is fermenting, while Big Al is aging.
Inside the Language of Colopalooza
"99.999% Pure...NIIIIIIICE"
adj., defined as: An expression
declaring something to be
noteworthy. Can also be shortened,
as in "Is that really hair under her
arms?...NIIIIIIICE."
Hangliders seemed to be everywhere (perhaps the ladies
keeping tabs on their fools).  Above are four Paloozians
celebrating a smoking gambling foray into Blackhawk.
Finally, we arrived at Darby Wilds Too, the infamous "Log
Palace".  Shockingly, ClemBox let us spend time there
without any parental supervision.  What a guy (fool).
Later that night, we discovered that
the Blair Witch had moved to Fraser.
Just seconds before openly breaking several
Colorado state wildlife laws, Flavor D and
Wreck are shown here contemplating the
Brookie bonanza that they thought lay ahead.
Inside the Language of Colopalooza
"Let's Do This!!" v., defined as: A call
to action to do anything whatsoever
and without hesitation. Derived by
Spanish Conquistadors while
inhabiting what is now Whittier, CA.
Left: Big Al & Smalls enjoy a touching
Paloozian moment on the back porch of the
Log Palace.

Below: Puff does a tremendous impersonation
of Whoopie Goldberg in a bubble bath.
The sports portion
of the trip is
launched with the
perfect Paloozian
breakfast--a couple
of Coors Lights and
the delightful
"burger dog".
The Paloozians
surround the
Colopalooza  brick,
housed forever more
next to the infamous
Ralphie statue.
Here comes RALPHIE!!!!
Chip cruises
around the
Buff endzone.
Buffs romp, scoring 63 points--a Colopalooza record.
Dinky & Wreck
dance around like
fools on the field
hours after the
game. Seconds later
they were chased
away by a startled
cleaning crew.
Later that night, Flavor D &
Puff dabbled in Boulder's
swinging nightlife.  About ten
minutes later they decided to
head back to the hotel and listen
to Barry White & Will Smith
CD's until dawn.
Inside the Language of Colopalooza
"I'm Out" v., defined as: A call to
action to end anything whatsoever
and without hesitation. Derived by
Navajo Indian blackjack dealers in
Laughlin, NV.
Wreck contemplates
the start of the NFL
season at The Dark
Horse in Boulder.  
Sadly, he'd selected a
few too many dark
horses of his own in
the weekly  pool.
In a reprise of Colopalooza 98, Wreck
stretches out in front of Wynkoop.
Dinky ponders
his existence.
Inside the Language of Colopalooza
"Atta Boy" adv., defined as: Of or
relating to outstanding
performance, as in "Hey did you
eat my fajitas?  Atta Boy!!".
Inspired by Dinky's Mulderian
obsession with the unknown, Big
Al joins him to search for the
truth--it is in there.
Suddenly an annual stop,
Crocks has become the
perfect place to prepare
for the Broncos games.
To the right, we're
enjoying another perfect
Denver afternoon.
Puff & Wreck take in the
Vikings game, along with a
couple cold, frosty ones.
So long to John
Elway--hello to
the worst
Broncos season
since 1975.
Could a new
Colopalooza
curse have
begun?
Inside the Language of Colopalooza
"Latie Late" prep., defined as: The
point at which something ceases, to
come to an end.
Big Al bids a fond
farewell to "Big Al
No Stinky"