Colopalooza 1998: Denver
"Los Fajitas Por Favor"
Colopalooza 98
Enter Dean Olson (alias "Dinky Diggler").   Each year, the
first order of business is to find some long-haired beauty
and anoint her "Miss Colopalooza".  This year, we chose
Inside Colopalooza
Dinky is the local host for Colopalooza and one of the four
original founding fathers.   His lovely and spacious
apartments have played host to several important events in
Colopalooza history--including Big Al's infamous
confrontation with Dinky's Jack-scented friend, "Cuddles".
Classic Colopalooza Quote
"Sssshhhhhhh, you guys are gonna get me kicked out of
this place!!"
Colopalooza 98
Obviously Sean Kahr (alias "Wreck", "Wreckage", "Fluffy", "The
Great White Deion", "Gimp", "Forrest Gimp") is happy to get
Colopalooza underway.
Inside Colopalooza
Wreck is also a founding father and participant in the first ever
toast hoisted in Colopalooza history.  The much celebrated
event occurred at 7am and featured the partaking of a fine
corn-based beverage from the friendly folks at LAX.
Classic Colopalooza Quote
"I just hate to see a perfectly good piece of tenderized meat go
to waste."
Colopalooza 98
An annual stop on the tour--The Wynkoop Brewery.  
From the left, that's Bill Taylor (alias "Puff"), Wreck,
Me (alias "Smalls"), Dinky and Al McGough (alias
"Big Al").
Inside Colopalooza
The Koop is one of the first brew-pubs opened in the
US.  It's close proximity to Coors Field has made it a
must for all true Paloozians.   Surprisingly, it wasn't
until last year that we realized most of the guys in the
place wanted to date us.
Classic Colopalooza Quote
"Is it just me...or is there something funny about this
Colopalooza 98
The first sporting event of Colopalooza 98 was a Rockies game at
Coors Field.  As has been the case in past visits to see the Blake
Street Bombers, we were serviced by an unusually freaky beer
vendor.  This cat's unique beer-selling cadence confirmed our
suspicions that he had a small metal kazoo surgically implanted
deep inside his lower intestines.
Inside Colopalooza
An early flight...a couple of pale ales...bleacher seats in the
guessed it, Puff  fell asleep, continuing his long-standing
Colopalooza tradition of odd sleeping arrangements.  Puff has slept
on everything from balconies to basements and very few things in
Classic Colopalooza Quote
"Cooooooooooooooors Light!!!  Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilver
Colopalooza 98
Aaaah...fresh off a little cat nap, Puff decides it's time for
some fresh Rocky Mountain Oysters--the original sack lunch.
Inside Colopalooza
All Paloozians have celebrated the unique zest of a plate of
Colorado's finest--that is except for Wreck.  Coming from the
guy who ate Smalls' pre-digested fajitas, that says a lot.  He
doesn't know what he's missing and unfortunately will never
be a real man.
Classic Colopalooza Quote
"So, do they crunch?"
Colopalooza 98
Apparently the oysters were a little strong for young Puff, as he promptly fell back
into a deep slumber next to the oyster stand.  Of course, we seized  the
opportunity to pose for the camera with a snoozing Puff at the core.
Inside Colopalooza
Shortly after taking this photo, we walked around the corner and watched baffled
Rockies fans stroll by Puff as he lie motionless in an oyster-enduced coma.  It
was perhaps the highlight of the trip.
Classic Colopalooza Quote
"No seriously, are they crunchy?"
Colopalooza 98
After the game, we made our way deep into the heart of the
Rocky Mountains for some camping and fishing.  That's where
destiny led us to Granny, the purveyor of "Granny's Country
Inn"--perhaps the most disturbing sleeping establishment in
Colopalooza history.  Let's just say there were a few of us who
openly wondered whether Granny had peddled more than just
pancakes around the campfire back in the old days.
Inside Colopalooza
The next day we fished a feeder stream to the Blue River near
Breckenridge--the exact same location where we came within
50 yards of a brown bear during a previous Colopalooza.  
Luckily the only wildlife we encountered this year were a couple
of spiny-tailed weasels (Big Al & Dinky).
Classic Colopalooza Quote
"So Puff, have you even gotten a bite?"
Colopalooza 98
New additions arrived on Friday night--just in time for the
Buffs game.  In the center is Andy Lewis (alias "Big Ange")
from Atlanta.  On the top right is Milo Chavis (alias "Oh
Milando").  Milando struck a blow to Paloozian pride by
sipping an unusually high percentage of citrus drinks during
the Buffs tailgate.  Let's just say he would fit right in at
Inside Colopalooza
Shockingly, Puff is actually in this photo (hint...look for the
pearly whites).
Classic Colopalooza Quote
"So Milando, another Blue Hawaiian?"
Colopalooza 98
The Buffs actually won the game!!
Inside Colopalooza
1998 marked the first Buffs victory ever recorded during Colopalooza.  Despite being
the third winningest college football team during the 90's, the "curse of Colopalooza"
had deemed the Buffs losers each time--which is exactly why we scheduled this
year's Colopalooza during the Fresno St. game.
Classic Colopalooza Quote
"Dude, this Neuheisel really sucks."
Colopalooza 98
With the sweet scent of victory still fresh in our minds, we moved on
to the Broncos game in heart-pounding anticipation of a first ever
Colopalooza victory sweep (Smalls and Dinky actually teared up).  
Anyway, the Broncos romped over the stunned Cowboys by scoring
touchdowns on all five first half possessions--a new NFL record.
Inside Colopalooza
Colopalooza 97 featured the undefeated Broncos and Pats on
Monday Night Football--and there wasn't a ticket to be found.  In a
panic, Dinky and Smalls reduced themselves to begging two guys to
take all their money in exchange for tickets.  However, the rest of the
so-called Paloozians ditched the scalping effort early and watched
the game  from "Old Chicago".  A most pathetic display. From that
embarrassing day forward, Dinky and Smalls took a solemn blood
vow to eradicate any future Paloozian non-attendance at the annual
Broncos game.  The pain was just too strong.
Classic Colopalooza Quote
"Geez, my flight was cheaper than this damn ticket!"
We close with a poignant shot of
what would be the final time that
Jacko would see John Elway
play in person at Mile High.